Chris Crocker - The Well Planned and Laid Out Blog Entry

Chris Crocker famously said he came out of his mother's vagina holding his nose in a video describing when he "came out". I, like many other people in this world, think that Mrs Crocker is a smart arsed bastard and should be shot several times in the face. But that is a very vague reason of hating a person, because just by saying that I haven't gone into the context of the reasons. So, sit down on your favourite swirly office chair and let the hate begin.

Crockface lives with his grandmother, who I have total sympathy for. Hearing all this swearing and having her make up stolen all the time must get to her. I know family is family and that she loves Chris but she must get tired after a while. So reason one for hating Crocker is:

1. ANNOYING HIS POOR GRANDMA

Crockface is a pretender, always pretending, acting and lying. He models himself as a woman all the time, but he is unbelievably sexist. And not just jokingly sexist, I'm talking about really outrageously sexist. From pregnancy to periods, Crockface is a rude crude motherlover when it comes to hating on the girls.

2. BLOODY SEXIST

His facial features are changing all the time and have characteristics of animals. For example, here's some animal faces Chris has pulled in the past few videos he has uploaded.






3. BLATANTLY COPIES ANIMALS

Just like his hideously mangled face, his hairdo changes like a traffic light. Either that or he has a wig for every day.



4. HAIR HAIR HAIR

Crockface has hissy fits all the time similar to those what a toddler would do after he had peed himself. He doesn't just throw a wobbler, but he screams and screams and screams until his eyes nearly burst. He once stated that if anything bad happened to love of his life Britney Spears, he would jump off the nearest building and hit the ground leading to obvious death.

5. PATHETICALLY BABYISH
6. RIDICULOUSLY SUICIDAL

BRITNEY SPEARS! HE IS THE NUMBER ONE GREATES FAN OF BRITNEY SPEARS AND MUST BE MURDERED FOR THAT VERY FACT! How can anyone of any religion, race, age or state of mind like Britney Spears to so much of a state where they make their own shrine of photographs of her. It doesn't make sense, much like Crockface. Actually, thinking of it now, the only person who could like Britney must be in the same mental state as Britney. Hmmm...

7. LIKES BRITNEY BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY LIKE BRITNEY

And I think that just about clears up why I hate Crocker. You could also count the fact he uploads shit and is a complete nutcase, but meh.